


At some point in our lives, we all had wanted to die

by naynaymous



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, it's really slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-11 20:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20552342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naynaymous/pseuds/naynaymous
Summary: 'I thought I died'Kim Yohan was only 20 years old when he decided to abandon his life behind and failed. Little did he know that life after death will be completely different from his previous life.





	1. The beginning

'I though I died'

was the first thing that Yohan thought when he woke up in an unfamiliar room. Everything around him was pitch black and even after a few minutes of adjusting he could barely make out what's around him.

Not knowing what to do, he just lay down there in the dark, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath.

'i can't find a way out of here, might as well die again'

Yes, 20 years old Kim Yohan is suicidal and the latest attempt was just one his long list of failed attempts. Some might think that it is a weird thing for a happy go lucky young adult like him to commit suicide but really whatever is seen on the surface is far from reality.

30 minutes passed and there is no sign of the room getting any brighter. Lost in thought, he didn't realized the series of rapid footsteps approaching.

"Excuse me, is anyone here???"

A loud, high pitched voice resonated in the air, bouncing of the walls and startling him. Kim Yohan was never the bravest of men so a sudden loud noise like that is enough to make him scream his lungs out.

The newcomer seemed to notice him but the pitch black of the room made it difficult for him to navigate the exact position of the other person in the room.

"E-excuse me, can you hear me? Can you try coming here?"

Yohan deadpanned at that statement.'if you can't see then what makes you think i can' but being the nice person he is he started walking around the room, following the source of voice.

"Wait up, I'm coming," he said as he walked while flailing his hands around. He couldn't feel anything solid around him, just air and air only.

After a few minutes of scrambling around, his hand finally found something solid. That something is soft and is covered by something smooth. 

'Finally, I found him,' he thought in relief, not having to go through a long journey in the dark to find the other person.

"You startled me," the person spoke and in that moment Yohan's relief turned into fear. The person he grabbed had a much deeper voice than the first voice he heard.

Yohan froze, suddenly too scared to do anything. For someone who does taekwondo, Kim Yohan sure is a scaredy cat, easily spooked by the smallest of things.

"Hey, are you okay? Did i startle you too much?"

That seemed to snap him back into reality. The person in front of him shook him slightly all the while keeping a firm grip on his shoulders. 

"I'm okay," he answered, "we should find the other guy who entered before you."

Before the two of them can take another step, the whole room lights up. The sudden brightness blinding him.

The feature of the guy in front of him became clear. He had a handsome face and although his height is slightly shorter than him, he seemes to radiate a sense of masculinity.

Yohan was holding onto the man's blue striped shirt awkwardly as he glanced around the room.

Under the light, he could make out the figure of at least 10 different people, all in equally awkward position as they tried to find their way around the dark.

He noticed one thing, all of them are males but yet they all seemed to have a mixed age group.

The man with the high pitched voice shouted in happiness, grateful for the sudden illumination. 

He has feline like bright eyes and an equally bright smile. He was tall and seemed older than Yohan himself but the oversized orange sweater and blue shorts he wore seemed to age him down.

The room they were in was big, about the size of a basketball hall. It seemed even bigger with the absence of any furniture. The wall is painted white, pure white without a single fleck of dust or any other colour. The only contrast to the wall is the door size gap leading to dark corridor.

On the equally white ceiling were rows and rows of equally spaced lamp, providing enough lighting to brighten up the whole room. 

"Alright everyone now that we can see, let's gather together at the center of the room"

The man spoke again. It seemed that out of all the ten or so people in the room, he was the loudest.

Everybody looked reluctant, glancing around everyone else before slowly walking to the center of the room.

"Alright since nobody knows why we are here and how to get out, let's get to know each other, okay?"

And before anyone can answer, the man spoke again,

"My name is cho seungyeon, I am 23 years old. Single, graduated from university a year ago, music major, currently is still looking for my dream job, have no idea why I am here-"

The guy spoke rapidly in a single breath, his tone enthusiastic and bright. Everybody else just looked bored except for thr man he bumped into who looked at this Cho Seungyeon with curious eyes.

"but the last thing i remembered before waking up here was the memory of killing myself"

And that last sentence seems to perk everyone's interest up. They all simultaneously raised their head up, a look of disbelief plastered on every singke one of their faces.

"Me too"

A beautiful looking man said. The man himself was short and has a genereally small build. He had neat brown hair and a small face with clearly defined features, giving him a delicate look.

This man is dressed up differently from Cho Seungyeon. He wore a simple white shirt with black trousers. He wore no smile on his face and generally seemed more mature.

"My name is kim wooseok and just like u said, I also remembered killing myself"

Several heads nodded as he finished his sentence. 

If Yohan had a mirror right now, he would have lauged at his face right now. His eyes went wide and his mouth was hanging open, so big that it looked comical. Based on their reactions, it can be concluded that everyone else here had killed themselves right before waking up in this room.

Now that he was aware of this fact, he knew that it was not a coincidence or a miracle that he woke up again after the nth failed suicide attempt. 

His last attempt was a success, he had died that day and probably so was everyone else in the room. Sweat trickled down his back, something out there had saved their lives, all fifteen or so lifes alltogether.

'what kind of sorcery is this'


	2. Anti climatic

Another round of silence followed. Seungyeon was no longer talking, suddenly finding his fingernails much more interesting.

The silence was heavy and deafening. Yohan wasn't used to it. Growing up, he was always surrounded by people. He got used to the noise to the point that he couldn't sleep without having music playing in the background.

Yohan was a bubbly person though probably not as bubbly as seungyeon, he was the type who couldn't stand sitting down in a room doing nothing. Feeling on edge through the silence, his self restrain broke and he spoke,

"My name is Kim Yohan"

The words came out spontaneously and a sense of relief immediately flooded him as the room was no longer silence even though he was the one making the sound.

"I'm sure we are all aware of the fact that we had died"

He started, thanking the Gods above that he didn't stutter.

"I'm not really sure but I think we are revived somehow?"

He really didn't know what to say, all the words he had formed in his head were not coming out as he wanted it to be.

"So you know let's all just start anew yeah like let's restart u know like-"

'Oh my God Kim Yohan stop talking' he thought but it seemed that his mouth just won't obey him.

"-let's start that by getting out of here," and he finally stopped talking, to his relief.

Clap

The man he bumped into in the dark clapped, a single loud clap that echoed throughout the room.

"Good idea Newton," the guy said sarcastically with a smug expression on his face, his teeth came on full display.

'Why did I say that of course it was the obvious thing to do' Yohan thought in embarassment and even without looking at the mirror he could feel his face heating up and growing red.

"I'm Hangyul. Lee Hangyul -"

"You have a good name"

This Hangyul didn't get to finish his sentence as Seungyeon interrupted him. However, instead of getting annoyed, Hangyul just smirked at his direction and winked. Seungyeon, without missing a single, winked back at Hangyul with a grin.

Yohan found it amazing that the two could calmly flirt with each other despite the weird situation they were in.

"Let's get-"

Hangyul was interrupted the second time, this time by a blaring, loud sound from outside the building.

Yohan recognised this sound, he heard it often throughout his life, it was the sound of police car.

\---

Being rescued out of the abandoned building was probably the most anti climatic way out of the building that he could think of.

Before being rescued, Yohan had imagined a series of thrilling adventure as they tried to get out of the building but the way out was actually pretty simple and they could get out of the building in relatively short time with the help of the police.

He was embarassed just by the thought of the unrealistic fantasy.

The building they woke up in was apparently located in the middle of the city. They place he woke up in was the abandoned hotel's meeting hall. 

It seemed that the shop owner next door got spooked by the sudden screaming noise from the vacant building and called the police. They sure didn't expect to find several men inside sitting around in the meeting hall.

The police immediately recognised some of their faces as the people from the most recent missing people list and decided to give all of them a lift to the police station for further investigation.

It was a weird circumstance, several missing people gathered together in an abandoned hotel, the police must have thought that this was some sort of kidnapping case.

Every single one of them was questioned, a series of 'what was the last thing you remembered before you woke up there' or 'do any of you know each other' but none of them knew how to answer. Everybody looked generally lost to the point that the police was too frustrated to ask even more question. 

Nobody knew how to explain how they just woke up in a random space after killing themselves and the police couldn't figure out how they entered the place without getting seen on any security camera.

"Mr police officer we are really sorry but we really don't know anything please stop making everyone more nervous,"

Yohan sighed a breath of relief. Thank God one of them decided to speak up, he couldn't stand the heavy atmosphere any second longer.

"If you could please just let us use the phone and call our family to tell them we are okay. We are not asking you to conduct amy further inverstigation just please let us go"

The man spoke so calmly yet so powerful. He was tall, taller than police officer himself which is a bonus, and had a kind smile on as he spoke. He was wearing a blavk shirt and an equally black pants.

'A reliable brother type'

Yohan thought as he stared at the man with admiration. Whatever deal he made with the police officer must have worked as he was now leading everyone to the phone to call their family.

He didn't realize that he was staring until the man approached hi

"You are not using the phone to call your family?"

He asked kindly and once again with a perfect smile plastered on his face.

"No,I-"

I what?

He abruptly stopped himself, finding it difficult to continue talking.

"Don't ever come back, you disgusts me"

A choking sensation formed in his throat and he found it difficult to breath. His lips trembled and his hands were shaking.

When he first woke up, everything was hazy. He could only remember killing himself but couldn't think of the reason no matter how hard he thinks.

It felt great, forgetting all the bad thibgs and starting anew and Yohan was relieved that he couldn't remember those hurtful words but now it all came back to him, all the pain, all the tears and all the self hatred.

"Hey, are you alright?"

The man's hand landed on his shoulder and that seemed to jolt him back to reality. 

The man's eyes shifted to Yohan's trembling hands.

"It's okay. It's okay,"

The man's hands found Yohan's holding it tightly yet giving him warmth. 

'He must have thought that I am weird,"

Yohan thought as he was getting calmer and calmer. The trembling had toned down and his breathing rate returned to normal.

A few minutes passed and Yohan was finally calm. The man's hands not leaving him the whole time and even after the trembling had stopped, their hands remained intertwined.

"Are you okay now?" The man asked with a smile.

"Yes," Yohan replied sharply.

"Thank God," the man breathed in relief, his voice soft and genuine.

"My name is Seungwoo, Han Seungwoo," the man introduced himself.

"I'm Yohan, Kim Yohan," Yohan said, bowing his head slightly in return. Seungwoo may not had stated his age but Yohan coukd just tell that he was older than him.

The man smiled again to him. Yohan couldn't count the amount of smiles he had given him in just a small period if time. 

'He has a nice smile,' Yohan concluded in his mind.

They continued to chat lightly after that, never touching the topic of why is he nit calling his family or just his family in general.

Yohan found this amazing as family was a topic that was usually used as a conversation starter or if not, is almost always touched in a conversation.

When it reached Seungwoo's turn to use the phone, he politely excused himself and apologized to him for not being able to keep him company for longer time.

Yohan watched as Seungwoo's hand slowly left his and as his back moved further away from him.

Barely a second passed but Yohan was already missing the warmth of Seungwoo's hands. 

In that moment, the feeling of emptiness returned to him and he found himself missing the presence of someone else beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that instead of giving you guys junho x yohan content I'm giving you guys Seungwoo x Yohan content but I promise that as chapter gies there will be more of junho x Yohan :D. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this :D


	3. Now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this here you go, this is the third chapter. Sorry for not updating quicklg and I hope you enjoy the chapter~

In the end, Yohan did call his parents, an awkward 1 minute phone call filled with tension.

_Yohan pressed his house number with shaking hands, dreading the moment the phone will start ringing signalling that he had been connected to whiever was at the other end of the line._

_ He was scared, even though a few days, 4 days as far as Yohan could recall after seeing today's date, had passed since he got kicked out of his house. _

_1....2....._

_ the phone started to ring and with that his heartrate started to quicken. The moment that used to bring warmth to his heart as he waited for his little sisters to shout a happy 'hello' from the other hand niw brought nothing but fear to him._

_ 5....6.... _

_The phone kept on ringing with no sign of anyone answering. _

_'Well, it will be really awkward if no one answers' was what he thought but deep down, he wished that that was the case. That he didn't have to face the one thing that drove him to end his life._

_ 7....8.- and the phone call was answered. _

_"Hello?" _

_A deep voice spoke from the other end of the line. A once gentle and loving voice. _

_"Who is this?" _

_For a moment, Yohan froze. He recognized this voice, the strong yet gentel voice he had heard almost every single day in his life back before he was kicked out. It was the voice of his father. _

_"Hello? Is anyone there?" _

_Gathering up his courage, he released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding before answering, "It's Yohan" _

_The other end of the line went silent. It was so quiet that yohan thought that his father had closed the call._

_ "I thought I told you-" _

_His dad spoke again after a long moment of silence. His voice was quiet yet harsh and threathening that Yohan could feel the anger behind his words._

_ "-to never show yourself in front of me again" _

_His dad finished before closing the call. _

_A beeping sound followed signalling the end of the phone call. Yohan could almost hear the sound of him slamming the phone back doen to the counter._

_ Yohan's chest tightened and he found it difficult to breath.He had expected to be rejected but the reality hurt more than what he imagined. _

_The police officer was standing impatiently next to him, hoping taht everyone could just quickly call their families and go back to their respective homes so that he could just go home early. _

_After stealing a glance towards the police officer, Yohan knew that if he told the police officer that his family doesn't want to pick him up, he would call them again and made a big deal about it._

_ Gathering up his bearrings, Yohan continued the phone call, pretending taht his dad was still on the other end of the line and that they were coming to pick him up soon. _

_He finished the call with a smile that soon faltered as he walked back to the waiting arena._

And it had been 2 hours since that phone call but his family was nowhere in sight. The police station had become significantly more quiet, most of the officers on duty today had wrapped up their work and went home.

The only sound floating in the air came from next to him where Seungyeon and Hangyul were chattering (read: flirting) happily about various things, from normal things to absurd topics such as aliens and flat earth. The two really made a good combo.

About half of the people that were found with him had been picked up by their family, one of the boy was even tackled down by his mother in a warm embrace.

That moment sparked jealousy in Yohan's heart. An ugly, ugly feeling that he wished to nit experience ever again.

'My family doesn't even want to see me' The police officer who picked them up was glaring dagger towards them, making him fidgety.

He glanced around himself to avoid making eye contact with the police officer.

Yohan looked at the duo next to him, still happily chatting and unaware of the detahglare sent their way.

'They both looked so happy' For the past two hours, without phones or any other form of entertainment, all Yohan could do was observing the people around him.

At first, he had considered joining in the conversation between Seungyeon and Hangyul but seeing the heart eyes they were giving each other, Yohan had opted to stay quiet.

Even with all the thinking, Yohan could not formulate an explanation on how someone as happy and as lively as Seungyeon or Hangyul could have killed themselves. It was at that moment that he realised the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover" really holds some truth.

Either way, Yohan wasn't much of a thinker so after just ten minutes of thinking, he got bored once again. It was at that moment when he was stretching his body that he noticed another person was sitting next to him, on his right side.

The spot that Yohan could swear was empty just moments ago now had someone calmly sitting on.

The boy who mysteriously appeared next to him had a handsome face with doll like features with perfectly V-shapes jawline and sharp nose. His big eyes were void of emotion as he stared onto the floor in front of him.

Yohan was in awe, he had never seen such a beautiful boy before and maybe just maybe he experienced a slight love at first sight just looking into the boy.

"Hi,"

Yohan said to the boy, trying to be as casual as possible. The boy didn't seem to hear him as he kept on staring at the groundin front of him, not budging for the slightest bit.

"Hi,"

Yohan tried again this time while elbowing the boy's side gently. The boy slowly turned to him and then began staring at him for a few seconds before finally speaking, 

"Are you talking to me?"

Yohan face-palmed at that question.

'Yea duh, of course I aas talking to you, who else?'

But since Yohan was a pretty easy going person, he quickly brushed it off and continued talking,

"Yeah! You've been really quiet the whole time, I didn't even realize that you were sitting next to me,"

And in that moment Yohan realized that what he said was offensive as if he didn't want said boy to sit next to him. He cringed at himself for a bit but when he looked at the boy again, he still have the same blank look on his face.

"It's ok. I orginally sat there-" He said while pointing at the row of seats diagonally across himself. "I just moved here cuz everyone else is gone,"

The boy finished and Yohan might be slightly tripping but there was a light blush dusting dusting the handsome boy's fair cheeks.

'He looks pretty,'

Yohan immediately thought the moment he saw the redness blossoming on the boy's cheek.

'Why did he blush though?'

Yohan thought in confusion as he continued staring at the boy.

'Maybe he's just shy,'

The boy seemed to shuffle slightly under the stare, nervousness evidence in his posture.

"Anyway, my name is Kim Yohan! You?"

Not planning to stare and make the situation more awkward, Yohan cheerily said as he extended his hand towards the boy.

"I'm Cha-" His speech was cut off by a sudden loud noise coming from the station's entrance.

A boy came barelling through, face flushed and breath heavy. He seemed young but his tall posture and long legs might confuse people about his actual age.

The boy's head frantically looked around left and right before finally stopping at Yohan's direction.

"HYUNG!"

The boy screamed his lungs out as he ran towards the row of seats.

For a second, Yohan thought that he was going to run to him which was weird since as far as he remembered, he didn't have any younger brother.

Hangyul who was previously busy flirting immediately stood up, right on time as the boy came crashing right into him.

"H-hyung, where have u been?"

The boy choked in between tears as he hugged his brother tightly. Hangyul didn't answer him. He just pat the boy's head and ran a comforting hand through his head whike chanting a series of I'm sorry.

After a couple of minutes, the boy's sobs had finally calmed down to ocassional sniffles. He just sat on one of the chair with Seungyeon hands on his shoulder as his brother went around to find some water.

"What's your name?" Seungyeon asked the buy as he stroked his shouldeer softly with one of his hands. "Dohyon, Nam Dohyon,"

Yohan was surprised by the answer. If he remembered correctly, Hangyul's surname was Lee not Nam.

'I thought they were brothers,' Yohan was curious but he was smart enough to know that asking the question would be offensive so he just sat there quietly while Seungyeon and Dohyon chattered softly beside him.

Hangyul returned with a cup of water and gently gave it to his brother who drank the whole cup quickly.

"Alright Dohyon, let's go home," Hangyul said after he put the cup aside on one of the tabke nearest to the seats.

Dohyon looked reluctant for a moment, probably still eager to chat with his new friend, Seungyeon, who still have his arms wrapped around Dohyon's shoulders.

"Come on kid, it's late already," Yohan glanced at the clock and true enough it was nearing midnight which means that he too had to leave soon. After a few nagging from Hangyul, the pair of brother finally went home not before bidding goodbye to the rest of them and exchanging numbers with Seungyeon. Dohyon even sent a tiny smile at Seungyeon before running off ti follow his brother.

Yohan found the gesture very adorable.

"I'm going to have to excuse myself too then," Seungyeon said not long after Hangyul had left.

He really did stay for an extra two hous just to accompany Hangyul until he got picked up. Yohan was about to ask if anybody was going to pick him up but Seungyeon beat him to it, giving him the answer as if he could read Yohan's mind.

"I live alone. How about you guys? When are you getting picked up?"

Yohan was once again speechless. He didn't know how to answer that question without having to explain his family situation.

"I'm not getting picked up,"

Yohan turned his head to look at Junho, amazed at how the boy could say something like that so easily at the same time keeping a neutral expression on his face.

Junho did a great job at hiding his emotion but Yohan swore that for a second, he could see a glimpse of sadness in his eyes.

That answer seemed to be effective enough that Seungyeon didn't ask any other questions except for their phone numbers before making his leave.

Now, only the two of them were left in the police station. The officer who brought them there were sending death glate at them as if trying to bore a hole through their heads which Yohan couldn't blame, they made him wait for too long.

All of a sudden, a pair if hands shook his shoulder. Yohan turned to his side to see Junho waving his ither hand, signalling him to come closer.

When Yohan was close enough, Junho whispered to his ears, his hot breath tickling Yohan's ears. Yohan felt flustered under the close proximity.

'Now is not the time Kim yohan you dumbass,'

he thought frantically, trying to focus on listening to what Junho was whispering to him.

"Let's get out of here before he murders us," Junho breathed out while making a side glance at the angry officer. Yohan just gave him a curt nod before standing up to leave.

In that moment, Yohan got a sudden burst of courage which he toom full advantage of as ge grabbed one of Junho's hands and made his way out of the police station and into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really slow story so please forgive me if you get kind of bored at the story. I'm currebtly working on anither fanfiction so it might take some time before the next update. Bye~


	4. Can we all live now?

**Hangyul**

"What took you so long?"

Hangyul said as he walked on the sidewalk next to Dohyon. Hangyul made sure that he was walking on the side closer to the road, a habit he had developed ever sjnce he was young.

"I'm sorry,"

Dohyon replied with his head hanging low as he held his brother's arm tighter as if afraid that his brother woukd suddenly diasappear again.

He didn't answer Hangyul's question but seeing the kid's sad expression was enough to stop Hangyul from pressing further.

They spent another ten minutes walking in silence. Hangyul casted a sideway galnce at his brother and noticed that the younger's gaze was unfocused, most likely due to sleepiness.

Seeing this, Hangyul halted his walk abruptly, startling the sleepy dohyon who jerked forward awkwardly, almost falling down if not for the fact that he was holding onto Hangyul's arm.

"Awe hyung, what the hell?"

Hangyul didn't respond to his sudden burst of annoyance but instead he squatted on the ground, inviting his little brother to climb on for a piggyback ride.

Dohyon suddenly felt very flustered. It had been awhile since Hangyum had offered to carry him home. Well, awhike woukd be an understatement as the last time Hangyul had carrued him was 4 years ago when puberty hadn't hit him yet and he was still much smaller compared to his brother.

"Woah Hyung, what are you doing? I can walk myself!"

Dohyon said in panic as he waved his hands around, making a clear rejection at the offer. He couldn't imagine how painful must it be for his older brother to carry his gigantic body after what had happened a few months before.

"Hey, just because you are all grown up and this happened to me doesn't mean that I can no longer carry you around,"

Hangyul said as he turned around to give a sheepish grin at Dohyon.

"Come on, hop up before u are dozed off enough that u walk straight to a pole,"

Hangyul finished. Dohyon knew that if his brother insisted that he woukd carry him then carrying him would it happen.

With reluctance, Dohyon climbed to his brother's back, his long legs hanging awkwardly on the side of his brother's smaller frame.

Yet, with all the height difference, they managed to make it work as the two were now walking peacefully through the quietness of the city.

"Dohyon,"

Hangyul began again, startling his brother after he momentarily dozed off in the comfortable position.

"you should have told me that you are sleepy, I wouldn't have asked you to pick me up,"

Hangyul whispered slowly, tiredness evident in his voice. Truth to be told, after not going to gym since the accident that happened to him 3 months ago, Hangyul's physique had significantly weaken.

Usually, carrying load as heavy as his brother were never a problem but right now, Hangyul could already feel the soreness after just five minutes of walking.

"I want to meet you,"

Dohyon replied equally as soft. His voice shook and Hangyuk could heat the tint of sadness in his voice.

"I'm sorry I took so long,"

Dohyon said, this time with a vouce much louder than before. His tone was mire firm, it seemed that he was nire awake now than before which didn't make sense as he didn't get any sleeo in between but whatevsr the details didn't matter.

"I was half asleep when I received the call. Well, the call made me so happy that I started screaming with you know high pitched noise and well it sort of wake the neighbour? so I had to apologize to them-"

Dohyon began rambling his story, talking very guickly that Hangyul had to focus to catch what he is saying.

"-then when I came back from apologizing, it seemed that the hapoiness rush was kind of over so when I go to the toilet to change my clothes, I sort of slept on the toiket seat and when I woke up, an hour had passed."

Dohyon ended his ramble. Hangyul just nod his head throughout the whole thing. No matter what was the reason, he coukd never be mad at his brither over such thing.

"But that's not all hyung. After that, I quickly ran outside of our apartment and tried to look for taxi but the road is so (?). So after fifteen minutes I just decided to walk to the station."

Dohyon finished and Hangyul heard no more of him. It was just silent for a some time.

Hangyul shook the boy on his back and received no response, his little brother was still as silent and motionless as a rock.

The only reminder that Dohyon was still alive was the warmth breath he could feel at the back of his neck and Hangyum was relieved.

'How can this kid sleep so fast'

Hangyul thought as he continued walking, enjoying the nighttime scenery as he passed through the park near his and Dohyon's apartment.

They reached the apartment ten minutes later. Hangy had a hard time trying to open the door without dropping his brother and somehow, after another 15 minutes of struggle, the two of them were inside the apartment with Dohyon sleeping sundly on his bed and Hangyum heaving loudly on the floor next to the bed.

Not long after, in the middle of heavy breath and sweating, hus handphone started to ring.

Hangyul reached towards his phone at the back of his pants. Throughout the whole walk home, Hangyul had completely forgotten the existence of the device in his pants' pocket. Thankfully the phone wasn't crushed under his weight when he dropped down on the floor from tiredness.

Cho Seungyeon

The caller ID read and Hangyul immediately jolted upwards, tiredness completely gone as his eyes flew wide open.

With that, Hangyul quickly pressed the answer button and Seungyeon's high pitched voice vibrated through the speaker,

"Hello, is this Hangyul? I knew we just met but-"

Seungyeon

Seungyeon reached his apartment after a thirty minutes walk from the police station.

He was euphoric, not once did he stop smiling on the way home. A bright smile was always present on his fox like features.

Seungyeon twirled his house key in one hand as he walked up the steps leading to his apartment.

He hummed a sweet melody unto the air. The oh so familiar song that he could even recite in his sleep.

The song was once a sound of hope, one that never faiked to bring a smile to his face.

But it was also the same song that killed him. The same song that lead him to countless sleepless nights. The same song that make him cried his eyes out as he wailed into the his pillows until he passed out.

Yet, none of that seemed to matter now. He could feel nothing even after repeating the song for the tenth time that night.

Maybe the happiness was too big that he couldn't care less. Maybe the whole suicide thing had fried his brain enough that he remembered that song as part of his happy memories.

And maybe, just maybe, he had moved on. Moved on from the past, moving on to a brand new life. Seungyeon hoped that that was the case.

'It's a new life after all, not everyone gets this chance,'

he thought, still humming to the same song.

He finally reached the front door. Everything was so silent, the whole apartment complex was in a deep slumber save for Seungyeon himself.

Seungyeon searched his pocket for the key. The first thing he did when he woke up was to check his pocket, making sure the key was still where he left it before he died.

If he was about to start a new life, he better made sure that he didn't start off with being a homeless man, having to beg for food every single day.

Seungyeon fumbled with his key for a bit before finally unlocking the front door.

His apartment was pitch blackwith the only source of light being the hallway light filtering through the front door.

The smile was slowly dropping fron Seungyeon's face. The apartment felt too empty, too lonely and depressing.

The air inside the apartment was reeking with horrible smell. The smell of rotten food and liquor combined creating a horrendous odour that almost made Seungyeon puke.

He could feel the thick carpet of dust even through the layer of his socks as soon as he took off his shoes, something that he regretted immediately.

Seungyeon was too scared to even turn on the light. His apartment was nowhere near a good condition, even in the dark he could already picture the horrible view he would be exposed to onve he turned on the light.

It had been exactly one week and five days since he killed himself. Exactly a week since he drank all those sleeping pills and dozed off in a dark alleywall somewhere in the city.

Thus, of course, this should be the state hus apartment is currently in. He lived alone, no one woukd be there to ckean his place up after he died. Seungyeon knew that better than anyone else.

Unable to stand the stench any longer, Seungyeon made a dash out of the front door once again, quickly closing the door behind him to avoid the odor from leaking out to the hallway.

Seungyeon took a big gulp of the clean air. He never expected breathing normal air to be that great but right now, it was the best thing he ever experienced.

Once he calmed down, Seungyeon took his cell phone out from his pocket. This being revived from death thing never failed to surprise him, what kind of kind guardian angel is out there reviving people up and not stealing any of theur belongings.

Every single one of his valuables were intact, none of them were stolen or damaged witht he slightest scratch.

It was as if nothing had ever happened to him. It was as if he never dozed off in that alley. It was as if he never died at all.

Seungyeon dialed the newest addition ti his contact list after contemplating for a few minutes.

'It's better to be shameless than living in that stinky hole for a whole night,'

Srungyeon thought as he waited for the other person to pick up.

The caller ID turned green signalling that Hangyul had picked up and without missing a single beat, Seungyeon said,

"Hello, is this Hangyul? I knew we just met but-"

**Seungyeon**

Seungyeon reached his apartment after a thirty minutes walk from the police station.

He was euphoric, not once did he stop smiling on the way home. A bright smile was always present on his fox like features.

Seungyeon twirled his house key in one hand as he walked up the steps leading to his apartment.

He hummed a sweet melody unto the air. The oh so familiar song that he could even recite in his sleep.

The song was once a sound of hope, one that never faiked to bring a smile to his face.

But it was also the same song that killed him. The same song that lead him to countless sleepless nights. The same song that make him cried his eyes out as he wailed into the his pillows until he passed out.

Yet, none of that seemed to matter now. He could feel nothing even after repeating the song for the tenth time that night.

Maybe the happiness was too big that he couldn't care less. Maybe the whole suicide thing had fried his brain enough that he remembered that song as part of his happy memories.

And maybe, just maybe, he had moved on. Moved on from the past, moving on to a brand new life. Seungyeon hoped that that was the case.

'It's a new life after all, not everyone gets this chance,'

he thought, still humming to the same song.

He finally reached the front door. Everything was so silent, the whole apartment complex was in a deep slumber save for Seungyeon himself.

Seungyeon searched his pocket for the key. The first thing he did when he woke up was to check his pocket, making sure the key was still where he left it before he died.

If he was about to start a new life, he better made sure that he didn't start off with being a homeless man, having to beg for food every single day.

Seungyeon fumbled with his key for a bit before finally unlocking the front door.

His apartment was pitch blackwith the only source of light being the hallway light filtering through the front door.

The smile was slowly dropping fron Seungyeon's face. The apartment felt too empty, too lonely and depressing.

The air inside the apartment was reeking with horrible smell. The smell of rotten food and liquor combined creating a horrendous odour that almost made Seungyeon puke.

He could feel the thick carpet of dust even through the layer of his socks as soon as he took off his shoes, something that he regretted immediately.

Seungyeon was too scared to even turn on the light. His apartment was nowhere near a good condition, even in the dark he could already picture the horrible view he would be exposed to onve he turned on the light.

It had been exactly one week and five days since he killed himself. Exactly a week since he drank all those sleeping pills and dozed off in a dark alleywall somewhere in the city.

Thus, of course, this should be the state hus apartment is currently in. He lived alone, no one woukd be there to ckean his place up after he died. Seungyeon knew that better than anyone else.

Unable to stand the stench any longer, Seungyeon made a dash out of the front door once again, quickly closing the door behind him to avoid the odor from leaking out to the hallway.

Seungyeon took a big gulp of the clean air. He never expected breathing normal air to be that great but right now, it was the best thing he ever experienced.

Once he calmed down, Seungyeon took his cell phone out from his pocket. This being revived from death thing never failed to surprise him, what kind of kind guardian angel is out there reviving people up and not stealing any of theur belongings.

Every single one of his valuables were intact, none of them were stolen or damaged witht he slightest scratch.

It was as if nothing had ever happened to him. It was as if he never dozed off in that alley. It was as if he never died at all.

Seungyeon dialed the newest addition ti his contact list after contemplating for a few minutes.

'It's better to be shameless than living in that stinky hole for a whole night,'

Srungyeon thought as he waited for the other person to pick up.

The caller ID turned green signalling that Hangyul had picked up and without missing a single beat, Seungyeon said,

"Hello, is this Hangyul? I knew we just met but can I ask you a favour?"

  
  
Seungyeon reached his apartment after a thirty minutes walk from the police station.  
  
He was euphoric, not once did he stop smiling on the way home. A bright smile was always present on his fox like features.  
  
Seungyeon twirled his house key in one hand as he walked up the steps leading to his apartment.  
  
He hummed a sweet melody unto the air. The oh so familiar song that he could even recite in his sleep.  
  
The song was once a sound of hope, one that never faiked to bring a smile to his face.  
  
But it was also the same song that killed him. The same song that lead him to countless sleepless nights. The same song that make him cried his eyes out as he wailed into the his pillows until he passed out.  
  
Yet, none of that seemed to matter now. He could feel nothing even after repeating the song for the tenth time that night.  
  
Maybe the happiness was too big that he couldn't care less. Maybe the whole suicide thing had fried his brain enough that he remembered that song as part of his happy memories.  
  
And maybe, just maybe, he had moved on. Moved on from the past, moving on to a brand new life. Seungyeon hoped that that was the case.  
  
'It's a new life after all, not everyone gets this chance,'  
  
he thought, still humming to the same song.  
  
He finally reached the front door. Everything was so silent, the whole apartment complex was in a deep slumber save for Seungyeon himself.  
  
Seungyeon searched his pocket for the key. The first thing he did when he woke up was to check his pocket, making sure the key was still where he left it before he died.  
  
If he was about to start a new life, he better made sure that he didn't start off with being a homeless man, having to beg for food every single day.  
  
Seungyeon fumbled with his key for a bit before finally unlocking the front door.  
  
His apartment was pitch blackwith the only source of light being the hallway light filtering through the front door.  
  
The smile was slowly dropping fron Seungyeon's face. The apartment felt too empty, too lonely and depressing.  
  
The air inside the apartment was reeking with horrible smell. The smell of rotten food and liquor combined creating a horrendous odour that almost made Seungyeon puke.  
  
He could feel the thick carpet of dust even through the layer of his socks as soon as he took off his shoes, something that he regretted immediately.  
  
Seungyeon was too scared to even turn on the light. His apartment was nowhere near a good condition, even in the dark he could already picture the horrible view he would be exposed to onve he turned on the light.  
  
It had been exactly one week and five days since he killed himself. Exactly a week since he drank all those sleeping pills and dozed off in a dark alleywall somewhere in the city.  
  
Thus, of course, this should be the state hus apartment is currently in. He lived alone, no one woukd be there to ckean his place up after he died. Seungyeon knew that better than anyone else.  
  
Unable to stand the stench any longer, Seungyeon made a dash out of the front door once again, quickly closing the door behind him to avoid the odor from leaking out to the hallway.  
  
Seungyeon took a big gulp of the clean air. He never expected breathing normal air to be that great but right now, it was the best thing he ever experienced.  
  
Once he calmed down, Seungyeon took his cell phone out from his pocket. This being revived from death thing never failed to surprise him, what kind of kind guardian angel is out there reviving people up and not stealing any of theur belongings.  
  
Every single one of his valuables were intact, none of them were stolen or damaged witht he slightest scratch.  
  
It was as if nothing had ever happened to him. It was as if he never dozed off in that alley. It was as if he never died at all.  
  
Seungyeon dialed the newest addition ti his contact list after contemplating for a few minutes.  
  
'It's better to be shameless than living in that stinky hole for a whole night,'  
  
Srungyeon thought as he waited for the other person to pick up.  
  
The caller ID turned green signalling that Hangyul had picked up and without missing a single beat, Seungyeon said,  
  
"Hello, is this Hangyul? I knew we just met but can I ask you a favour?"  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long to update. So, I mentioned before that I have a new ff prohect coming up but the story seemed too complicated so after a few days of working on it, I decided to leave it for a while. So yes here i am updating a new chapter after 2 weeks i hope u enjoy XD. Comments and kudos are always appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this is bad this is my first time writinv please let me know what ship do you want me to add. I might remake this fict later :>


End file.
